I’ve a enjoyable secret to share: I’ve by no means had a (formal) mentor.

Regardless of this undeniable fact that some might see as a significant downside for my profession, I’ve nonetheless — at the very least by my very own account — completed so much by the age of 30. Nonetheless, one of the frequent questions I obtain from youthful, aspiring vogue or magnificence creators is: Do I would like a mentor to succeed?

The ‘buzziness’ of mentorship

Mentorship has turn out to be a buzzword in recent times, significantly in industries like vogue, magnificence, and way of life classes. Many profitable people in these industries have attributed their profession development to the steering and help they obtained from a mentor. Take André Leon Talley, arguably one of the outstanding voices of vogue within the twentieth and twenty first century, who typically spoke of Diana Vreeland’s impression on him as a mentor. In 2020, earlier than his passing, OFf-White founder and chief artistic director, Virgil Abloh, launched Free Recreation, a useful resource middle filled with a catalog of interviews by Abloh’s private heroes, together with graphic designer Peter Saville.

Nonetheless, some people query whether or not mentorship is actually obligatory for profession success in these fields. Apart from, how does one even “discover” a mentor with out feeling like a random burden to a extra senior individual?

What’s mentorship?

At the beginning, it’s vital to outline what mentorship is. Mentorship is a relationship between a extra skilled and educated particular person (the mentor) and a much less skilled particular person (the mentee). The mentor supplies steering, help, and recommendation to the mentee, typically sharing their experiences and data to assist them navigate their profession path. Nevertheless it doesn’t cease there: A mentee additionally has, at the very least to me, an obligation so as to add one thing of worth again to the mentor. In any case, you wouldn’t need somebody who simply takes from you and by no means pours again into your cup, proper?

Mentorship in vogue

Mentorship may be significantly invaluable within the vogue, magnificence, and way of life industries. These industries are extremely aggressive, and having a mentor who can present perception into the trade and provide steering on the right way to succeed may be extremely useful. Mentors also can present introductions to key trade gamers and assist mentees community and construct their skilled contacts.

The concept of nepotism — the apply amongst these with energy or affect of favoring kin, buddies, or associates, particularly by giving them jobs — continues to be alive and effectively in these industries. For many individuals, their preliminary begin within the trade relies on who they know and who can assist them ascend. When you may have a mentor, they typically make it easier to keep away from lots of the pitfalls they themselves fell in at one level or one other.

Moreover, mentorship can assist people develop abilities which are obligatory for achievement in these industries. For instance, a mentor might assist a mentee develop their communication and networking abilities, present steering on the right way to negotiate salaries and contracts, and provide recommendation on the right way to steadiness work and private life.

The darkish facet of Mentorship

Now that I’ve listed all of the methods mentorship can assist you, let’s speak about among the methods it’s nonetheless a difficult spectrum. First, whereas I discussed the ability of nepotism, it’s additionally a harmful place to function from, particularly should you can’t “relate” to anybody else within the room.

Take, for instance, one of many first jobs I received out of faculty (I deliberately am leaving names out of it). Once I eagerly joined the group, I rapidly realized that not solely was I the one individual of coloration on that group, however I used to be additionally the one one who had not been afforded the luxurious of taking $10 internships as a result of my dad and mom might foot my NYC lease. 

Notably for marginalized communities, mentorship in a really white, affluent-saturated market is HARD. Many Black and brown folks might not have entry to the identical networks as their white counterparts. Many mentorship alternatives within the vogue trade come up from private connections and relationships, and if Black and brown persons are not a part of the identical social circles as established professionals, they might wrestle to seek out mentors who can assist them advance of their careers.

Consider different components corresponding to unconscious biases (just like the time I had an editor ask me to jot down ALL the Black hair content material for the location) and discrimination (I bear in mind an editor telling me she already had a Black woman on her employees in order that’s why she wouldn’t rent me), and there’s so much to unpack.

Mentorship shouldn’t be a assure for achievement.

Whereas mentorship, if attained, may be very useful to somebody’s profession, I believe it’s vital to notice that mentorship shouldn’t be a assure of success. Finally, the success of a person’s profession relies on a mix of things, together with laborious work, expertise, and luck. Even with a mentor, it’s nonetheless as much as the person to place within the effort to succeed. So typically I noticed individuals who floundered after their mentor left their place or function. Right here’s my largest tip: By no means financial institution your complete profession on any particular person individual. It’s YOUR profession, and you want to put within the work.

So what can I do?

Mentorship can assist people navigate the aggressive panorama, develop obligatory abilities, and construct vital skilled relationships. Moreover, having a mentor can present a supply of motivation and inspiration, serving to you keep centered and dedicated to their profession objectives.

However whereas mentorship is a superb step, additionally focusing on constructing SPONSORS into your Rolodex will get you far. Bear in mind at first of this put up, I stated that I had by no means had a proper mentor? Effectively, I’ve to say that I attest quite a lot of the profession growth I’ve gleaned on two issues: 1) Figuring out folks in my trade that I wished to reflect and finding out them, even from afar; 2) Cultivating relationships with individuals who might be a sponsor for me and communicate my title in rooms I wasn’t in.

I extremely counsel everybody learn the wonderful e-book, “Neglect a Mentor, Discover a Sponsor”, to raised perceive the distinction between the 2 and how one can begin figuring out the sponsors of your life at any level in your profession.

I’m so grateful for many who have stood within the hole for me all through my profession. I attest a lot of who I’m, and who I’m changing into on these silent sponsors and casual mentors of my life. So, don’t get discouraged should you haven’t discovered your good mentor but. It’s a bit of your chapter however not your entire story!

FYI, I did an entire episode of mentorship on TheBlondeMisfit podcast. Test it out should you’re into podcasts, and let me know within the feedback who a few of your mentors or sponsors have been!